I haven’t blogged in rather a while. I work in education and every year without fail the start of the academic year and how busy it is takes me by surprise. This coupled with being short staffed has led to me working on average an extra 10 hours a week. My brain was frazzled (or as the Boyo says head fried!).
I’d built up enough time that I managed to take a week off when the students were on their October break. I promised myself I would relax and just enjoy a few days at home. This of course did not happen. I promptly arranged things for everyday of the week off. I seem to never learn!
I started off the week with a long weekend on the most wonderful Island I know. The Isle of Arran off the West coast of Scotland is my favourite place and this time I got to take some of my favourite people. The Boyo + myself + 2 best friends + 1 husband (not mine!) + 1 toddler + 1 dog + a house with a sea view and a cosy fire = a formula for a great weekend. We had so much fun. Wandering the Island, eating food and drinking many cups of tea and playing games in the evening. The verdict is that the girls are best at Cranium and the boys won the trivia game (only just!). I feel at home and relaxed on the Island and it was great to finally show my friends the place I love. We had a Treasure Trail for Brodick that proved to be a good idea and the games in the evening while the toddler snoozed were so much fun. This time of year is just spectacular and the scenery on Arran was magnificent. I really love autumn and my friends got to see the Island looking rather good. None of us really wanted to leave; my thoughts are leaning towards making this an annual event from now on.
My sister then came down to visit me for a couple of days and I did have a meeting in Dundee for work that I had to go to. I spent the latter half of the week in my hometown visiting family. I went to The Good Food Show in Glasgow with my Mum and spent far too much money but I do now have a kitchen stocked with tasty treats (not all unwholesome).
The last day of the holiday was spent at home catching up with my (tired) Boyo who had been at a stag do in Aviemore and then before we knew it the alarm clock was beeping on Monday morning and it was time for me to go back to work.
Countryside around my house
I do feel a bit more rested but at certain points in my week off I had time to think (I was working so much prior to the holiday that there was no time for anything). I had to stop myself a few times from being very negative about myself again. The truth is there are much more important things in life but the only way for me to stop these petty negative thoughts is to tackle them head on.
The conclusion: whilst I am happy that efforts I have made to deal with stress have resulted in the chronic headaches lessening I am very unhappy with the way I look. Looks should not be important, indeed I have no huge aspirations to suddenly turn into a model or princess (haha as if, some very potent magic potions would be needed) but I know that I looked far better 3 years ago than I do now. Yes I do have excuses and some of those are valid (medication, bereavement, desk job) but I’m not happy and I’m being judged by other people (I’ve had comments from Gran and dad in past week and Boyo earlier in the year). Ultimately if I lose a little weight and get some zest back it will do wonders for my self esteem. I do not want to be thin, I just want to go back down 2 sizes so I can fit in most of my very nice wardrobe again.
Graduation 3 years ago, this dress won’t even look at me now. 😦
The key things I am looking at right now to help me with this are obviously food and exercise. I have been doing a bit of research into 5:2, The Hairy Dieters (love them), exercise classes locally (but given my work hours this is proving hard!) and thanks to Molly’s blog I am also thinking about investing in a Jawbone. I am seriously challenging myself to try more vegetables using the techniques the hypnotherapist gave me. It is very easy for me to be weak and need some self discipline and encouragement (not nagging, Boyo has made that mistake before). I’m also stubborn so if I can just redirect my stubbornness in a direction that would lead to a healthier me then that would be useful.
I’d love to know if any of you have tried a particular type of exercise and enjoyed it. I have not got great co-ordination and I have dodgy knees so anything that is a very impact type sport (like running) would not really be ideal for me. I’d also really love to hear if anyone else has had a food aversion issue?
We bought a cross-trainer nearly a year ago and the Boyo does use it but I haven’t. I know how to use it, I am not scared of the machine or find it difficult it is almost as if I am scared to try to lose weight in case I fail? maybe tonight I’ll just face that (irrational) fear and get on it.
Wish me luck!
ps. I am also looking for tips on which mobile phone I should go for. I can upgrade next week but after 4 years with a blackberry it is time to change. I don’t need anything too fancy but something with a decent camera would be good. Any advice much appreciated!!